Kissing Lesson
by Irrelevancy
Summary: Marauder's time. Remus wants to learn how to kiss. Sirius and James offer to show him. S/J. Slash. Kissing scene, and their awesomeness deserves a T rating EDITED.


**A/N: Harry Potter... ah... Harry Potter...**

**x3**

**Just an itty bitty oneshot~~~**

**James/Sirius**

**and Sorry, Cali, for stealing your name.**

**Edited, 'cause me and a handful of other ppl WHO COMMENTED (eh, ignore me) think well, the reaction was stupid.  
**

* * *

"Hey Moony!" Remus groaned at his friend's sly greeting, reluctantly turning around to face Sirius, eyes automatically noting the strange emptiness besides the dark haired boy that wasn't James. "How's it going with Cali?"

"Perfectly fine, Padfoot, if you really are interested…" he answered wearily. He was, no doubt, in for a long Charms lesson since Sirius found out about his new girlfriend. "Where's James?" he asked just to change the subject.

"Coming, I'm sure," he breezed, draping an arm around Remus's and continued onwards towards Flitwick's class. "You've done a great job though, mate, I must say…"

"In… what?"

"In hiding it from me, of course!" the animagus exclaimed, somehow managing to simultaneously wink coyly at a passing group of Ravenclaw girls, eliciting a round of high-pitched giggles in the process. "I've never known you were interested in her! I would've set you two up!"

Remus sighed, "She was the one who asked me. I only knew her from Potions before today."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "So… you don't really like her…?"

"…No," the teen admitted, glancing around nervously, as if Cali would somehow be listening in on them. "But I answered yes… why?"

Sirius had to grin at his friend's desperate tone. "Calm down mate. It's what everyone does. Really."

"It's what _you _do…!"

"You make that sound like a bad thing."

"It IS a bad thing!"

Before Sirius could retort, James walked in on them, a knowing smirk on his lips. "Hey Padfoot, Moony. I've heard about Moroa."

"Yup. Poor Cali though… Moony was just saying how he didn't really like the girl…" Sirius said as Remus slapped a hand to his face and groaned.

"Leave the guy alone, Sirius," James grinned, falling into step on Remus's other side. "I'm sure he has his reasons. He wouldn't do something so stupid, right, Moony?"

"'Right, Moony?'" Sirius imitated sarcastically, pulling his arm back and readjusting the strap of his bag. "Merlin's beard, Prongs. Even Mr. Prefect can't control his hormones at times."

James scoffed. "Come off it Padfoot, Moony has more sense than that…" His voice trailed off as he caught the guilty expression on Remus's face. "He's _right_?!" he yelped in surprise.

Sirius grinned, triumphant. "I knew it!"

"Moony?!"

"Well…" Remus started, pausing right outside the classroom, watching the other students stream by them, laughing and giggling. "You know how you and Sirius were talking the other day…"

"We talk everyday. Be more specific than that."

"Shut up Padfoot. Let him finish."

"Uh well… talking about… about _kissing_ and all that…how many girls you've kissed… and… and…"

"And you got curious, and wanted to try it yourself," Sirius finished promptly. "So you decided to say yes to Cali. Tsk tsk, Moony. You're a sinful man…"

"Well, as Dumbledore said, 'Curiosity is not a sin'," said James matter-of-factly, leading the trio in and sitting down at their regular table, Sirius in the seat above him. "Can't blame a guy for it."

"So?"

"So…?"

"_How was it_, you dimwit!" Sirius cried out, exasperated by his friend's innocent oblivion.

"How was what?" Remus continued blindly.

"_The kiss!_" Even James joined in this time. To both their surprises, the teen suddenly looked distraught.

"Well… that's the thing…" he muttered, avoiding his friends' shocked gazes, and instead watched Flitwick pad across the room to his podium.

"You… haven't kissed her yet…?" Sirius looked absolutely dumbfounded. James rolled his eyes.

"Sheesh Padfoot. Normal relationships wait a couple of days before making out. Then again–" He stared pointedly at Sirius. "–You're not exactly the definition of _normal_, either." The teen grinned wolfishly as a response. James turned back to Remus, a serious look on his face. "But Padfoot's got a point. You really should get a move on. Don't lead her on for so long. Just hurry and get it over with."

"Yes, but the thing is-" Remus was cut off by Flitwick starting the lesson on Growth Charms, busily supplying every person with the metal ring they had shrunk during their previous lesson. He was squeaking out the assignment at every table, counting Sirius together with James and Remus.

"Charm the rings back to their original sizes now! Once you've done that, apply the charm again and make it grow larger!" he piped.

Remus looked up at the board to see the spell again, while James stared expectantly at the back of his head, and Sirius scrutinized the ring, as if it was a prized dog, and wondered if he should enter it in a contest.

"Well… the thing is…" Remus reluctantly continued after a while under James's stare. "Is that… I… I don't know what to do…"

James blinked. "Is that it?"

"For your information I've never had experience before!" he whispered hotly in defense. "I'm not like you or Sirius!"

"Cool down Moony," Sirius mused. "James is just saying that we could always show you."

"Show... me?" Remus really hoped they weren't going to grab some random girl and start making out with them, while giving him pointers on how to kiss someone. But apparently, the two marauders had a different idea in mind…

James reached up and hooked his arm around Sirius's neck and pulled him close. "Now, you see here? Just bring the girl close, firmly, but gently. Don't force her now…"

"Then simply press your lips together," Sirius finished, taking his own advice. For a few seconds the kiss was only lip and lip contact. But then…

"Continue, moving, nibbling a bit," James breathed against the other boy's mouth, then clamping his lips slightly over his bottom lip. Sirius followed his lead, and pressed the two tighter with a hand behind James's head, fingers threaded through his tresses. "Gently though… Kinda teasing."

"Then feel free to go deeper if you want," Sirius concluded. For a moment, the two were completely apart, but then was immediately caught up in a heated make-out fest. The opened mouths and demanding tongues was enough to make Remus blush darkly, but somehow, he found he couldn't look away from that intimate point of contact between the two of his closest friends. He was suddenly startled out of his reverie by an awkward clearing of his throat of Flitwick in front of their table. A quick glance around the classroom showed that indeed, he wasn't the only one that had noticed, nor affected.

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Black! I do advise you two get on with your work!" he scolded. James and Sirius broke away, both red in the face from breathlessness and slightly panting, to look at him, then back onto their rings. In a swift motion, the two whipped out their wands. James tapped the ring twice, making it grow in size to its original state, then into the size of a donut. Sirius followed suit, but instead tossed it into the air in a more flashy performance, flicking his wand a third time right before it hit the table and making it zoom across the room, where it settled itself gently onto Flitwick's table. A chortle of gasps, muffled applauses, and just general aw-ed sounds rose from the students. James beamed and Sirius winked, raising his free hand in mock-modesty.

"Oh stop it. You're embarrassing me." Remus laughed incredulously at the impossible feat of Sirius Black being embarrassed, and the class followed suit. James never stopped beaming, turning towards Flitwick.

"May we be excused now?"

Flitwick gaped a bit at Sirius's performance, and watched James as he made his zoom across the room as well, with his arm still somehow around Sirius and vice versa. "I ah… um… very well…" Then he kind of walked away in a daze, not even bothering to silence the breakout of mutters and whispers and catcalls amongst the class.

"And that, Moony," James winked at Remus. "Is how you kiss."

* * *

**A/N: MUAHAHAH~~!**

**x3**

**I really do love these two~**

**Used to be Fred & George**

**ah well, I still like 'em fairly fine~**

**just these two are... better~**

**Cx**

**Got the idea from reading way too many crackfics~**

**Not saying it's bad, of course~**

**I do apologize, though, for any... mistakes in any way**

**because well, I really haven't read HP in a long while**

**and the single book I'm PINING over, Order of the Phoenix**

**I can't find...**

**~.~**

**It just had to be the one...**

**well, I love Sirius. I mean, who doesn't~? So here~**

**R&R~?**


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